A Moronic Move in Maine

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Home to a mind-boggling 1,100 lakes and 1,300 miles of canoe routes, solitude in the Boundary Waters is only a half-day’s paddle from the town of Ely, Minnesota. Expect to hear the yodel of the loon echoing across the early morning mist and to see moose wading chest deep in the clear waters. Local folk save their paddling for September, when famished mosquitoes, biting flies, and babbling homo sapiens are long gone.
Zion’s most impressive hike is the Narrows, where you walk in the Virgin River through a 1,000-foot-deep-chasm that’s a mere 20-feet wide. Check with a ranger on water levels, but usually a minimum age of 8 is advisable. You’ll need a wet suit and booties, which you can rent in town, because of the cool water temperatures. That’s a small price to pay to have this magnificent slot to yourself. With each step, the walls become narrower and narrower, and you quickly became lost in this paradigm of sandstone. Sun peeks through the notch of blue sky above, illuminating the walls in various shades of caramel, rouge, and tan. Water pours down sides of the curved walls to enhance the slick appeal. Amble through as much of the river as you want before turning back.
The Park Loop around Acadia can be congested in the summer months, so get out of the car and play in the pines. A 43-mile network of carriage path trails, narrow hard-packed gravel pathways best suited for the fat wheels of a mountain bike, line the entire eastern half of Mount Desert Island. Rent bikes at Bar Harbor’s Acadia Bike (48 Cottage Street) and then head to the shores of Eagle Lake, where a relatively level carriage path trail circles this large body of water under towering firs and over century-old stone bridges. At the southern part of the lake, Acadia’s highest peak, Cadillac Mountain, comes into view, before the trail descends on a fun downhill run. Afterwards, treat the kids to warm popovers at the Jordan Pond Gatehouse.